If you’re like most women, you are probably suffer from “Not Enough” syndrome.
I too, as a new mom, sometimes struggle with thoughts (“Maybe Lila isn’t eating enough? Maybe I’m not being ‘productive’ enough? Maybe I’m not discipling her enough? Maybe I’m not skinny enough yet?” and the list goes on…).
After all, our culture (and the basis of our economy) is fueled by supporting people (especially women!) in not feeling ‘good enough’.
A whopping 86% of girls grow up with low self-esteem, and most women today suffer with body image issues or shut down sexuality. These are seriously disturbing statistics.
I was watching a documentary last night (“Feminists… What were they thinking?” on Netflix) with Lila cuddled up in my arms, and I wanted to cry – our great grandmothers, grandmothers, mothers… all suffered from severe discrimination, lack of choice about their bodies, forced dependence on men and constantly being reminded that they weren’t good enough – even though they were doing God’s work of raising children and educating/nourishing/beautifying/enlightening the world. I welled up with tears of gratitude for the women who stood up for our rights – and for the freedoms I have today.
We MUST work SO HARD to overcome these beliefs of “not-enoughness”, and infuse ourselves with Self Love and realize what magnificent beings we truly are. This is the greatest legacy we can leave not only for ourselves, but for our sisters, and our future daughters and sons (and our partners – who yearn for us to stop our own self-sabotage). This will change the course of your destiny – and you will begin to lead a more love-filled, connected, miraculous life.
How does the “Not Enoughness” show up in our lives?
Anxiety, depression, stuckness, resentment, guilt, overwhelm, a general sense of inadequacy, low self-worth…
… Being overworked, attracting or settling for Mr. Wrong(s), over-giving, people pleasing, approval seeking, judgement, jealousy, lack of clear boundaries, suppressing your truth, insecurity, addiction, being disconnected from your body, negative self-talk, over-analysis, constant need to prove yourself, always feeling like a failure, carrying a lifetime of guilt, putting up with abuse or pure CRAPPINESS…
Do any of these sound familiar to you?
How many times have you thought:
“Maybe I’m not pretty enough”
“Maybe I’m not smart enough”
“Maybe I’m too intimidating”
“Maybe I’m under/over qualified”
“Maybe I need to lose a few more pounds, then I’ll look good!”
“Maybe I need to be more loving/understanding/forgiving”
And the list goes on… The sense of inadequacy begins to drive our lives in the most subtle, unconscious ways. Our career choices, the men we date, the way we take care of ourselves…
So many women suffer with heartache and drama in their dating life because, deep down, they feel unworthy of love.
Well, my Love Goddess, this ends TODAY. Today, you must make a choice of understanding and recognizing that you, indeed, are ENOUGH.
“But, but, Sarika….” you must be thinking.
You. Are. Enough.
Just by being born on this planet, for being exactly who you are, how you look, what your ‘mistakes’ are, what you’ve accomplished, what you’re capable of, how you spend your day, how you think or feel, how you love, everything you are doing right now… is ENOUGH.
So what are some ways that you can begin to release your old beliefs, and truly embody this truth of your greatness, your magnificence – your ‘enoughness’?
Here are some exercises to get started:
1. Practice gratitude every morning (or anytime you start feeling low). It could be anything small, or big! For instance, say, “I am grateful for my bed… I am grateful for how smart I am…”). Gratitude will immediately begin to shift your vibration and make you happier – it’s a gentle reminder that our life is a gift and that we already have the conditions to be happy (even though it’s hard to see it!)
2. Find a place to serve. Serve at a local homeless shelter, do random acts of kindness, smile at a stranger… find some ways to contribute to others in a joyful, meaningful way. Service is the BEST way for you to instantly reconnect with the truth that you are part of something greater, and that your presence on our planet matters.
3. Every time you start feeling that sense of inadequacy, self-criticism, or some sort of anxiety, say, “I am enough!” Just keep saying it, over and over, all day – perhaps with a sense of anger towards your inner judge/critic. Sometimes you gotta get angry to get even.
4. Here is a super-powerful exercise (from my Be a Love Magnet – Unleash Your Inner Radiance Through the Power of Self Love course):
Take out a journal. See what arises for you when you journal on these prompts:
I am so….
I encourage you to do a whole ‘brain dump’ of all your thoughts for the prompts above. I used to have hundreds of them!
Now, for each of these, I would like you to say to yourself, “Even though xxx (e.g. I am overweight), I still love, accept and forgive myself.”
This practice is powerful, because it’s like doing jiu jitsu on your uncontrolled, negative self-talk. It’s about bringing awareness to these, and assuring/rewiring the different parts of your brain (neocortex, limbic system, reptilian complex).
I do this exercise everyday, whenever a negative thought comes up.
Remember, dear one, you are enough. You are unbelievably loved. You are a magnificent being.
When you come from a place of ‘enoughness’, you will see that your life will start flowing even more smoothly, and that your self-defeating patterns will stop playing such an active role in your life and choices.
If you found this post helpful, please share this to your friends, sisters, mothers… we all need this message!
What types of men are you attracting? Take the free Love Magnet Quiz and get your personalized Love Assessment.
Is it time you partnered with a Love & Relationship expert to take control of your life? Apply for a complimentary discovery session with Sarika Jain to discover how you can:
- Practice Self Love
- Let go of your baggage and increase your vibration & magnetism
- Date and attract your soulmate in a healthy, joyful way