When I was going through my breakup with my ex-fiancé, instead of going to my normal behavior of drinking and getting back on a dating app, I began a deep self-awareness and self-love journey.
During this process, I began to see that the ways I was showing up in my life was causing my pain. I was somehow (partly) responsible for the masala in my life and the lack of understanding in my relationship.
The day after my breakup, I was introduced to an organization that focused on kindness as a basis of spirituality (called ServiceSpace), but I thought I would give it a shot. It seemed rather silly to me, but after attending a day long retreat where everything was based on gift and pay-it-forward, I broke down and cried, and I couldn’t stop. My heart blew open! We were surrounded by beautiful artwork that volunteers had created, ate delicious healthy food, and took mindful silent walks in nature together, listened to each others’ sometimes harrowing journeys. It was marvelous! And the best part was, I didn’t have to worry about anything, including transportation, money, etc., because everyone was being provided for. I came out of the retreat a new, more heart-open person.
I began the work of being kind. I took part in random acts of kindness challenges like making sandwiches for homeless people, dropping kind notes or gifts on my colleagues’ desks before they came to work, or distributing flowers and hugs to strangers. I hosted weekly meditation gatherings and cooked dinner for 12-15 people in my tiny Gramercy apartment (and more and more people kept showing up!). And I began doing acts of kindness for my friends and family, without expecting anything in return.
My heart ached for my lost relationship, and for how lonely and silly I felt while doing all of this. Yet… there was a magical force that was breaking my heart open, and filling me up with the juicy kind of love that only the divine can conjure!
I began to experience miracles in my life. How my presence healed others, how people began to pay-it-forward, and gifts flowed into my tiny apartment.
I even met my husband, Krishan, through this. He used to show up at my apartment early for the meditation gathering to set up, and stayed late to help clean up. Our friendship and attraction grew, and it felt organic and… magical! He was so attracted to me as I was, no doubt, giving off a magnetic vibe.
When we began dating, I vowed to make kindness the basis of our relationship. We would spend Saturday mornings preparing sandwiches and fruits to distribute to the homeless in Union Square. We would do acts of kindness for each other. We began living in the magic of the gift.
Thankfully, “Filling the kindness cup” has been the motto of our marriage even till today.
We’ve been through a lot of ups and downs, and even moments when it seemed our relationship would fall apart. What’s kept us going are the acts of kindness that we offer for each other. We might be going through a major disagreement or crisis, yet kindness has been a key ingredient that has kept our relationship afloat.
>> I share my relationship secrets in my new e-book, 5 Mistakes Women Make in Love: How to avoid them and make him fall in love with you over and over again.
You see, kindness is the glue in relationships.
It is the very thing that people remember when they think of others. It fills our heart with gratitude and reminds us that in reality, separation is an illusion.
If you want to create a relationship that’s lasting, whether it’s with your beloved, family or friends, kindness is the secret ingredient that brings it alive. Giving from a place of abundance, without expecting anything in return, is healing and heart opening.
We’ve been programmed for millennia to hurt each other and live in a state of separation… kindness is the cure!
Have you experienced kindness that has blown your mind? I would love to hear your story!
As a challenge, I would love for you to do an act of kindness today! Buy a coffee for the person behind you at the coffee shop, pay for a random person’s dinner at another table, gift cookies to a neighbor anonymously with a note telling them how special they are. If you need ideas, check out this resource. I would love to hear from you how it went!
P.S. If you’re looking to transform your love patterns, and create a juicy relationship with a man who is devoted to you, download your copy of my new FREE ebook 5 Mistakes Women Make in Love today.
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Is it time you partnered with a Dating, Love & Relationship expert to take control of your life? Apply for a discovery session with Sarika Jain to discover how you can:
- Practice Self Love
- Clear your inner blocks and increase your vibration & magnetism
- Date and attract your soulmate in a healthy, joyful way