I recently heard a disturbing statistic: we spend nearly 90% of our energy on our toxic relationships, according to Dr. Ramani Durvasala, psychologist and narcissism expert.
Which leaves 10% on our relationships that truly are worth our time, energy and love (including ourselves).
Coupled with the fact that our most important factor for health and fulfillment comes from our relationships…
… It is no surprise that most of us are drained, unhappy and constantly stuck in a cycle of suffering in our love life and relationships.
The reality is, we don’t even realize that we’re in toxic relationships, until it’s too late and we’re completely entangled.
Whether it’s your boss, colleague, exes, a man you’re seeing, an addict sibling, or a mother or father struggling with low self worth, you’ll be surprised how much time and energy you are spending to appease, fix or emotionally fill a void they have that can never be filled.
Perhaps the most dangerous types of relationships are those with High Conflict Personalities. These are people who suffer from a range of mental disorders, such as Narcissistic, Borderline or Antisocial personality disorders. To read more, please check out this informative article. It is important for you to get to know these toxic behavior patterns, so that you can handle these relationships better when you see them.
If you have suffered with having a parent or partners who were toxic, then you must seek help from a professional.
Not only can these relationships cause deep damage to your psyche and scar you permanently if you’re not careful, they may also point to important life lessons, spiritual blockages and skills you need to learn about your own style of relating.
For instance, if you’re highly empathic, have anxious/avoidant attachment styles, are approval seeking or suffer from low self esteem, you may naturally attract these types of people. You find yourself somehow attracted to these men, and end up overgiving and losing yourself and your power in the drama without realizing it.
Moreover, you may have spiritual blocks that naturally make you a target for these relationships.
Through the coaching work I do, I have witnessed countless clients gently release these toxic relationships in their lives. Sometimes we have to consciously end a bad relationship, and other times, these relationships become easier and fall away on their own.
Through practicing self love and meditation, healing our spiritual blocks, learning healthy relationship skills, reclaiming our feminine power and upgrading our consciousness, we can begin to dislodge the power that toxic people have on our lives.
We raise our vibration and self esteem to such a level that the toxic relationships begin to lose their power.
Instead of giving away our limited love and energy to Energy Vampires, we are sourcing our energy from our higher selves and the universe and consciously spending it on our healthy relationships (including the one with ourselves). Then, the remaining 10% we spend on the toxic relationships that we simply have to honor out of respect (such as a boss or parent).
Imagine the amount of psychic space you would have if you got rid of toxic people (or at least, greatly diminished the emotional load)!
Also, imagine dating from a place of inner peace, harmony and strength! One in which you’re confident that you’ve healed the cycle of suffering that you may unconsciously creating in your life.