Yesterday morning, I complained to Krishan about something he did (it was so tiny that I forgot what it is).
He looked at me with mild irritation, and said, “Sarika, remember, always let a man win in the small things… we get tired of hearing criticism all the time. You must tell your clients this now!”
I laughed, because I was brought back to my senses. My man is totally hooked on me – but I’m always humbled by my own faults. Especially with the way I communicate sometimes.
Here are some secrets to keep your man addicted to you – through your words:
1. Stop complaining. Period. Criticism, judgement and lack of acceptance kill a relationship – and make the person slowly close up or recoil from you. It creates a shame-based relationship.
I personally can’t stand to hang out with people who complain. I know it’s cathartic at first – but it gets draining really quickly!
Instead, learn how to make requests in a healthy way, or practice self-empathy on the things you really need – and figure out a strategy to meet them.
A guy doesn’t have to be your end-all and be-all to your happiness!
2. Appreciate all the small things a guy does. Even if it’s folding his own laundry! People thrive in praise – and remember, whatever you place your attention on (and appreciate), grows. You can say, “Darling, I’m so grateful that you emptied the dishwasher! Thank you!” and caress his arm or hug him.
3. Love yourself first. I teach a principle called ‘The 4 As of Love’, in which I share how to practice Appreciation, Attention, Affection and Attention on myself. When you master this, you automatically attract these things to yourself!
I even put self-pleasuring in this category. Remember, just because you’re single, doesn’t mean you can’t have your sexual desires met 🙂
You will become magnetic, overall – and your man won’t be able to get enough of you!!
4. Stop being his mom. A guy wants to be with an erotic partner, one with whom he can experience romance, partnership, and co-creation. A mom-like partner is someone who’s like a doormat – always the giver and fixer. Have you noticed that sometimes we can be so mean to our own moms?! And that’s how a guy will start treating us, if they don’t respect us as an independent, free-spirited, sexy and joyful woman.
5. Communicate with compassion. I’ve personally seen so many of my relationships dwindle away, when I can’t communicate my feelings and needs. I felt repressed – and sometimes, I would stay silent around my man.Men are terrified of ‘silence’, and would rather hear real honesty, than fake words. Whether you walk on eggshells around him, or start your sentences with “I need you to…” in a firm, masculine way, a man will start to withdraw from you.
Changing how I communicate (in a feminine way) has been a game-changer in every single relationship of my life!
I hope these tips were helpful to you. What are your thoughts?? I would love to hear them here 🙂