5 Myths That Are Hurting Your Chance for Love

As a smart, successful woman, it’s important to address your hidden fears and all the limiting belief systems floating around in your mind and energy field about love and dating.

There are some that you may be conscious of and others you may need to explore more deeply with a professional. I have noticed with my clients that as one starts taking action for manifesting one’s ideal relationship, even more fears pop up, and they can sabotage a potentially beautiful relationship.

Here are just a few myths that may cause fear and anxiety in finding ‘the one’, so it’s important to address them first.

1. Your biological clock is ticking, so hurry up!

This is a major cause for anxiety for so many women, and sends desperation vibes to men. I remember counting backwards from the time I thought would be wise to have kids. This put so much pressure on me to perform my magic and stronghold a man into my life. Stop, breathe, and laugh!

First, ask yourself – do you really need kids to be happy? You can be happy, right now, exactly as you are. Taking the pressure off yourself allows you to become more Goddess-minded – open, expansive, free-spirited – and when the timing’s right, you will likely meet the right guy, and having kids (even if adopted) will always be an option.

2. All the good ones are taken or aren’t interested.

Living in New York City, I remember feeling like all the single men were either players, Peter Pans, or gay. I went on hundreds of dates with seemingly decent straight men, and fretted. Why wasn’t I attracted to these guys? Where are the smart Renaissance men, the ones who travel, are spiritual and have many interests outside of work? The one who will adore me, and keep a relationship as their number one priority?

The truth is that the right man will appear when your life feels in alignment and you feel happy and balanced from within. You may meet him through online dating, work, community service, or your friends. Trust me – he will appear, when you’re truly ready to receive him! Will you recognize him when he does?

3. Dating and relationship skills come naturally.

This is perhaps the most dangerous misconception. Only in recent years have we started using our own networks and abilities to meet and attract the right mates. Our parents didn’t have to go through the troubles we do to ‘meet someone’, and online dating is a recent phenomenon. Also, in terms of happy and harmonious relationships, we haven’t seen too many great examples, right?

Dating and relationships are learned skills – how to communicate our feelings, how to make requests, how to hold space for another person, and how to listen deeply. How does one make another person feel safe, loved and have a sense of belonging? How do we suffer in a way that we don’t destroy a relationship?

The beauty about being single is that you can learn and practice new skills, so that when Mr. Right comes along, you are ready!

4. It’s all about ‘meeting the one’ – and nothing else. Dating other men is a waste of time.

Dating is part of your life journey, and it can be joyful! Think of it as having a tasting menu or buffet. Imagine all the flavors that you naturally enjoy or are drawn to; or some allergies you may have.

When you enjoy the dating process, you can meet new people, learn more about yourself and you get the opportunity to learn relationship skills. You develop more intuition and trust! You are not wasting your time by hanging out with people you don’t know – each date is a learning opportunity. As you keep growing, you’re more likely to meet men who are better fits with the more mature you and who meet the belief systems that you hold for yourself. When you have a joyful attitude towards your own life, people will find you attractive and want to spend time with you. And the beauty is, you don’t have to date anyone you don’t want to, or feel in your gut that it’s not right.

5. There must be something wrong with you, which is why you’re single.

You are perfect just the way you are. We all have life lessons to learn. Relationships are the best way to learn about yourself, to grow and evolve, and to heal, in many ways. There may be numerous reasons why you’re single – but I would say – that’s a great place to be! When you achieve personal harmony and genuine love for your amazing and imperfect self, you’ll be at the right point in your life to build a strong foundation with the man you are meant to meet.

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