Falling in love is liberating and magical, and you grow so much in the process. Romance isn’t dead!
A beautiful friend of mine told me her story a few years ago.
A little back story – just like me, she was also engaged to a man, but two weeks before their wedding, they ended it.
After the breakup, she went on a world tour (a ‘walkabout’ of sorts) – the backstreets of Indonesia, Bali, etc. She came back with a renewed sense of hope and peace of mind. She even attended a workshop on Soulmate Attraction I held in San Fransisco.
She decided to get back into the dating grind, and dated several men, each getting easier and smoother. Less dramatic. She didn’t feel pumped about any of them. But she did learn how to be kinder and more mindful while dating and ending relationships.
But then, over the summer, she decided to give dating a break, to focus on her friend’s weddings.
She was invited to a friend’s wedding, and decided to wear an ostentatious, poofy green ball gown. She was in a fun, openhearted mood.
There, she met a wonderful man. They danced and connected all night… and he asked her out on a date.
6 months have flown by like no other. Their romance has been sweet and enchanting. They have very little expectation except of mutual respect, trust and honesty. They’re best friends first. They’ve even met each others’ families, and resonate deeply on their values.
She followed the 5 Keys to Joyful Dating, without even realizing it.
I am genuinely happy for her!
I could relate, as I too, had an enchanting dating journey with Krishan – where we threw out all expectations, and focused on enjoying the present moment.
So how can you bring back the romance into dating?
5 Tips to Enjoy the Dating Process
1. Stay focused on the present moment.
Practice breathing, and staying present – not getting lost in the past or future.
Sometimes it’s easy to become over-analytical or feel paralyzed when you’re meeting someone on a date, wondering whether someone is ‘the one’ or if you’ll get hurt. Rather, use the time to get to know him, bringing your full presence to each date, and practicing mindfulness and self-awareness. Try to put away your phone when you’re with him, and request him to do the same.
When you view dating as a self-discovery journey – in which you notice your own triggers and blocks, and learn to accept each person for who they are, then you will notice that your guard will go down, and you will enjoy the date for what it is – an opportunity to get to know another human being, be authentic, and a time of exploration and doing fun things together!
Remember, you don’t have to commit to anyone you don’t want to!
Obviously, look out for the deal breakers, like addiction, anger issues, lying, etc. These are all a no-no.
I find that presence (through mindfulness) is one of the sexiest qualities a woman can have – one that is not only extremely seductive, but it can bring a woman to greater attunement with her higher self, and become wise, confident and carefree while dating.
2. Date more than one man.
This sounds counterintuitive, but even if you’ve met a guy you think is ‘the one’, continue to date other men. The reason is that It takes you out of your head (otherwise you will analyze the relationship endlessly, because you are putting all your eggs in one basket), and it will allow you to chill and actually just enjoy getting to know men, without focusing on the outcome.
Sometimes I view dating like networking or meeting new friends.
A real partnership will be revealed over time (sometimes over several months), when you get to know each other authentically, doing fun and interesting things together, and having deep, meaningful conversations around topics you deeply care about.
I generally advise women to date a man for at least six months (or more!) to know him well before committing to getting into a long-term relationship.
The more men you date, the more you will learn about yourself and ideally release your blocks – and also the greater chance you will meet ‘the one’. When you finally meet Mr. Right, you will feel even more confident with your choice!
(I’ve shared a solid process of anxiety-free, joyful dating, in the Soulmate Attraction Blueprint).
3. Feel free to be yourself.
Real men are attracted to women who are themselves, totally and completely. When you are yourself, you give permission to a man to be himself – which is truly liberating, and something every man is seeking.
Sometimes it takes a lot of self love and self awareness to be your authentic self.
When you love and accept yourself and are free from your pesky, self-critical thoughts, you begin to radiate with joy and a sense of confidence and inner peace. You’ll become less judgmental towards the men you’re dating – and will start to enjoy the dating process for what it is – a self love journey and a heart-opening process of creating true, lasting partnership based on your values and intention.
4. Enjoy the dates, and don’t take dating too personally.
Create a positive mindset around dating, and don’t take the process too seriously. Remember, rejection is just part of the game, and everyone is looking for the right partnership, that will last a lifetime. If you aren’t interested in dating a man, let him know honestly and firmly, yet, with compassionate and love.
Try not to write off a man based on superficial reasons. Give a man at least 3-4 chances, especially if he’s kind, generous and shows up for you.
You can even treat him and plan fun and even meaningful things – even simple activities like walking in the park, going to an outdoor concert, volunteering at a soup kitchen or going to a meditation class together are great.
Over time, you can see whether you feel ‘energized’ or ‘drained’ while you’re with him – this is a good test for resonance. While dating, see if you resonate on deeper things, like your values, vision and lifestyle preferences.
5. Clear your inner blocks
Your partner may already be in your life (maybe a friend of a friend, or online), but if your heart’s not open or you’re afraid of being vulnerable, you may not attract him! Or, you may meet ‘the one’, and begin to sabotage the relationship due to your subconscious blocks.
When you focus on self love and healing, and view dating as a self-discovery journey, you begin to connect with your intuition and aren’t as afraid while dating. By clearing your blocks, you become more radiant and high quality men. This makes dating even more enjoyable!
By following these tips on dating, you WILL experience more miracles in your dating journey.
Plus you’ll get to experience true romance when you do meet ‘the one’.
What types of men are you attracting? Take the free Love Magnet Quiz and get your personalized Love Assessment.
Is it time you partnered with a Love & Relationship expert to take control of your life? Apply for a complimentary discovery session with Sarika Jain to discover how you can:
- Practice Self Love
- Let go of your baggage and increase your vibration & magnetism
- Date and attract your soulmate in a healthy, joyful way