“Your task is to not seek for love, but merely to seek all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~ Rumi
You’ve been through some real heartache in your life. I get it! It seems like there is no easy path to finding and attracting love without pain. I want you to know that you can take that pain and transform it into something beautiful and powerful – it’s a process of alchemy.
Of all the coaching that I do, healing from past relationships, and closing one’s ‘ex files’ is some of the most profound work.
This step is especially important if you are:
– Attracting men (or women) with similar flaws – or seeing patterns
– Still feeling sad, confused from a past relationship
– Feeling stuck, going on date after date, wondering why it’s not going anywhere
– Recently heartbroken, or going through a breakup
In my experience, all the information about your dating life you need is wrapped up in your last relationship(s).
Until you answer the gut-wrenching question, “What could I have done differently?” you won’t have peace of mind.
A belief will float inside of you that you may sabotage your next relationship. Or that you aren’t worthy of love. As soon as you start getting intimate or vulnerable with someone, your parasympathetic nerves may kick in, raising ‘high alert’ to prevent you from letting go, and trusting a new relationship.
You may come across as shifty, ungrounded or desperate. Or, on the flipside, you may do all the right things for finding ‘the one’ (like putting yourself online), but sending protective signals that you don’t need a relationship.
And that will send signals to the outside world that you aren’t ready for the real deal.
Whether your last relationship was a marriage which lasted 10 years, or a 2 week courtship, as long as it left a significant enough impact on you – you can learn what you need to, in order to attract the right relationship.
I will posit that your last relationship has all the information you need, to take the right actions for attracting a healthy, loving relationship.
Closing your ‘ex files’ will allow you to clear the space for ‘The One’.
One of the things that we don’t do so well in our society is how to properly get over a past relationship or another painful event from our life. There’s a whole grieving, forgiveness and wisdom process that we forgo.
What were we supposed to learn?
Why did it happen in the first place?
What should our relationship be with those who have hurt us?
How do we create new, healthy relationships?
Did you know that we carry these memories in our cells and energetic footprint? And that it shapes our belief systems, of what makes for a good relationship? We are sending signals to the universe that we’re still healing, and need to learn from our past. Till then, we will keep attracting people who are also in the same stage of healing, in their own way. There is nothing wrong with this! But you will see patterns in your relationships, which will be undeniable – and painful.
We also hold energetic cords with past relationships, or people we still think about.
Learn to cut & let go of those cords and baggage.