Last night, I watched “The Holiday Calendar” (yes, the holiday movies have begun!). Warning – spoiler alert below!
The main actress couldn’t see that her best friend, a beautiful, soulful, world-traveling man, was in love with her. He was always showing up for her, making her life easier in through tough times, making her laugh, and giving her thoughtful gifts. Yet she brushed him off as ‘just a friend’, and in general, she seemed pretty skeptical and jaded about her talents, her ability to date and be in a relationship. She dated a successful doctor and thought he was ‘the one’, only to get hurt. Luckily, like all sappy holiday movies, she finally realizes that she loves her friend.
Now, you might not have such a friend in your life (maybe you do, but you’re not acknowledging it or giving him a chance!), but if you’re dating a man, you probably wonder if he’s into you.
Here’s a clue: If he shows up for you consistently – he’s into you. Period.
I’ve seen this over and over. A man who’s besotted by a woman will do anything to win her attention and affection, and truly, genuinely wants to see her happy and thriving. You see, men are pretty simple in their needs and desires and are oftentimes more guided by their hearts than we women are when it comes to love (surprising, right?).
If he can see you for your inner beauty and values you as a human being – he’s into you.
If he’s willing to show up for his triggers and commitment fears while he’s with you – he’s into you.
If he strives to be a better human being around you – he’s into you.
If you’re able to face tough periods together and make it through stronger – he’s into you.
If he shares important things in his life with you – his family, friends, desires and fears – he’s into you.
If he’s willing to sacrifice something valuable like a job promotion or security and comfort to choose to be with you – he’s into you.
However, if you have to beg or nag him to show up for you – he’s NOT into you. If you have to seduce or manipulate him into loving or accepting you – he’s not into you. If you have to teach him how to behave in the relationship – he’s not into you.
Or if he plays hot and cold, like avoiding you, being busy, doesn’t follow up, but then shows up with grand gestures (like wooing you – taking you to the top restaurant in the city or buying extravagant gifts) – then likely he’s interested, but not committed (and frankly not the kind of man you want to be with, long-term).
Sometimes we only discover this after some time of being with a man – which is why I recommend that you date several men at once, and only commit to someone after six months.
So many of us smart, successful women fall for the successful, charming, yet emotionally avoidant man. I don’t know if it’s something we’re wired for, or simply attracted to – but these types of men aren’t really into you. They are into status, achieving a goal, or although they might like you, they will ultimately choose to fulfill their own needs for safety and comfort. They aren’t willing to do the hard work of healing old wounds or sabotage patterns.
These are hard words for some women to hear because the truth is that we want to be saved from being single by a charming, handsome, debonair man who looks great on our arms. Or a part of us is scared and wants to stay single.
Yet I want you to know that Mr. Right, your soulmate, is seeking to be with you, to show up for you, to make your life more fulfilling and meaningful. A real man of integrity, courage and vision. An authentic man who stands for love and truth.
You might be blocking this kind of love because you don’t feel worthy, aren’t aligned or you simply can’t see him even if he’s in your life.
If you want healthy love and Mr. Right to enter your life and to receive him with an open heart, then you might have to do a little inner & outer work to make this happen.
You are required to step into the radiant, sexy, empowered woman you were meant to be, and take steps into manifesting this kind of love.
If this is your calling, and you’re desiring to attract Mr. Right into your life, then you must check out my upcoming FREE masterclass, “Attract Your Dream Relationship!
In this class, you will learn all about how to begin to call in this handsome, loving man who WANTS to serve you and your relationship. Isn’t this what we all want?
If this resonates with you, please join us, and also share this with your girlfriends and sisters too.
Is it time you partnered with a Dating, Love & Relationship expert to take control of your life? Apply for a discovery session with Sarika Jain to discover how you can: