Too many times, I find that we, as women, are in our masculine. We are used to working long hours and have learned to approach things in a masculine way to survive in the world. Plus we become jaded from dating and past relationships. So when we think of romance, it ends up being either fairy-tale like (with a guy ‘saving’ us from being single), or we are overly analytical and practical about relationships.
I’ve recently been taking an immersive feminine mastery program with Mama Gena’s ‘The School of Womanly Arts’. It’s been a wild journey of learning how to embody my desires and fully embracing my feminine side – and living a life of pleasure. When a woman is TURNED ON by herself and life, she can have anything (and any man) she wants, and the world rises to meet her desires.
I was coaching a client yesterday who is falling in with a wonderful man. He wants to marry her (and she does too!). But he lives in a different part of the world, and they have several differences (but share similar values – and have a deep resonance on a soul-level). Suddenly, as she’s getting closer to making the commitment, she’s starting to get afraid and analytical. She began testing him and making him jump through hurdles (as I’m sure we’ve all done!). When our session started, she practically had a migraine from so much over-thinking!
By then end of the session, her different fears were lifted, and she was in her body, connected with her heart’s desires, feeling ‘turned on’ and trusting life in a different way. She realized that her wisdom lies in her body – not her head. And that she couldn’t sabotage a beautiful relationship just because she was trying to gain control of her life – she needed to be ok with uncertainty. She knew in her heart that she does love him and want to be with him – and that relationships are a life-long journey of learning and growth and require a leap of faith.
This level of over-analyzing, controlling, testing men and confusion is common for us women – and it’s how we push men away.
There is a new way of being – or rather, a different part of us that is yearning to be recognized and embraced:
It’s our Inner Lover.
She is the part of us that is loving, playful, feminine, believes in magic, is connected to nature, and truly loves her body, mind and spirit. She knows how to love unconditionally and patiently, and is abundant in her mindset. She is connected to her heart and sexuality and recognizes that her body is a sacred temple, and is embodied. She dates men because she’s turned on by the prospect of having interesting experiences in romance and eroticism, and she continues to keep her desire burning for her search for true love. She’s confident, sexy and empowered, yet vulnerable at the same time. She is wise and spiritual, and knows that she is both human and divine. She is skilled in communications and relationships.
The problem today is that we have lost the art of sacred love and cultivating our Inner Lover.
But here’s my promise to you: If you do cultivate this part of yourself, you WILL experience true love and fulfillment on a whole new level.
In another article, I will share more about the Inner Lover, and how you can meet and embrace her.
In the meanwhile, I’ll share a powerful article by Marianne Williamson, one of my favorite authors and spiritual teachers:
HONORING ATHENA, EMBRACING APHRODITE
Many people complain these days that romance hasn’t come their way. Often however, we see that if romance were to be likened to a visitor, it hasn’t arrived yet because we ourselves are like a town where there’s no place for it to stay. We keep saying we want love, but don’t truly prepare for its arrival. Why would it come to a place where there’s no real welcome past the initial “So glad you’re here!”?
Many contemporary women now embody the Greek Goddess Athena, while craving a visit from Aphrodite. Yet the gods only come to where they are fully embodied. Embodying Athena, we attract worldly achievement; embodying Aphrodite, we attract love. What’s exciting about being a Western woman today is that we’re allowed to embody as many and whatever goddesses we choose. For those who seek a deeper romance, it serves to embody the goddess Aphrodite, for she is the goddess of romantic love. In order to become her, however, we must approach her with reverence and love.
“Aphrodite’s temple” is a real psychic vortex, as is any divine space, with steps to be climbed in order to enter. There are both external and internal steps to climb before entering Aphrodite’s temple, and all of them can be learned.
EXTERNAL STEPS To the Temple of Aphrodite
l) Get all exercise equipment and office work out of your bedroom. Aphrodite is a temple, not a workspace.
2) Make your living environment, clothes (even undergarments), and personal behavior a magnet for romantic vibrations. Your own manifestation must match her frequency in order to attract her.
3) Study books, take seminars, attend support groups, go to therapy — anything to avail yourself of all opportunities to learn greater mastery in romantic relationships. Some barriers to Aphrodite are simply mental, emotional and behavioral patterns that we learned, and can now unlearn. All negative energy, when surrendered to God for healing, can be transmuted and transcended through grace.
INTERNAL STEPS To the Temple of Aphrodite
1) Take an honest look at how you view relationships. Do you value them less than other areas of life, judging them as somehow trivial? Do you truly give yourself emotional permission to fall in love and stay there? Do you hold covert, or even overt, judgments against men or women as romantic partners? Such judgments must be recognized and consciously surrendered for healing, or they remain subconscious forces that sabotage our chances for love.
In my own generation, there was a strain of what I call “flawed feminism” which, while it created a huge space of opportunity for women, also subtly and not-so-subtly made a woman feel like a romantic desire was less important than say, our desire for worldly accomplishment. This put us at odds with our own emotional and in some cases even biological propensities, causing unnecessary havoc and sorrow. Aphrodite in fact competes with no one and nothing. She is not trying to take anyone else’s temple space. She is not a threat to worldly achievement; if anything, she is a boon to it because a deeply happy woman is a more energetic woman. Healthy sex and romance realign our nervous systems. They do not weaken us; rather they strengthen us. But we must be willing to admit to ourselves that it’s something we truly, deeply desire. Aphrodite doesn’t come to a place where she doesn’t feel desired, for in essence she is desire.
2) Take an internal scan of your psychological, spiritual, emotional and physical landscape. Are you emotionally available? Are you physically prepared? Are you ready to be gentle with a man, or at times of fear might you be demeaning, or impatient, or angry? Are you yet kind and giving enough for love? Are you juicy, and erotic, and honoring of real sexual desire? Are you ready to welcome a partner, to serve his or her growth that you might participate together in a great romantic journey? Combining the sacred and the erotic is a high adventure; Aphrodite is both goddess and lover. We must approach the gods, and love, with reverence if we’re to receive their blessings.
3) Surrender to God all barriers you hold against love’s coming. It’s not that we need to seek for love, for love is all around us. What we must consciously seek out, however, are all the ways we chronically keep it at bay. From sarcasm to anger, from a controlling nature to a covert contempt for men, we often put out energy that on the level of subtle vibrations keeps Aphrodite at a distance. Many times, having not had love, we create defenses and personality mechanisms that might have served us at one time, but now need to whither away if Aphrodite is to approach. A woman might say, for instance, “You damn right I’m tough! I’ve had to be! I didn’t have a man taking care of me!” Yes, but now, if you are to attract a man, you might want to consider being notso tough. While it might be commendable and to your credit that you’ve created so much on your own, the mental and emotional habit patterns of someone who’s flying solo are quite different from those of someone who is partnered. It’s important to be independent, in order to hold on to your identity in a relationship. Unless we’re independent first, we can’t partner in interdependence. But once we are independent, we must be willing to give up our aloneness in order to attract Aphrodite. The goddess of love is not just interested in self-love; she is interested in the deepest, most romantic joining with another.
Even those who feel that they have failed at love can receive the blessing of Aphrodite’s touch. For she does not just reward those who are willing and ready to love; she also heals those who come to her weakened in the wars of love, now ready to make peace with the parts of themselves that have tried and failed at love, shown up and been rejected, had the chance and blown the opportunity. When we are ready to forgive our selves and others, ready to humbly ask for guidance in love, ready to rise above the resistance to love, then we are ready for Aphrodite’s blessing. Once we are ready for her, she is ready for us; and once joining with her, we embody her. Then love arrives on angel’s wings, for gods can do what only gods can do. And love surrenders to their slightest command.
May this inspire you to begin seeking your Inner Lover – and really know that you are truly capable of experiencing love on a whole new level!
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- Practice Self Love
- Clear your spiritual blocks and increase your vibration & magnetism
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