The Five Levels of Desire

In Indian tantric teachings, there are five levels of desire. These are (roughly):

1. Longing and desiring for something or someone

2. Being mentally and emotionally disturbed by this object of desire

3. Becoming enchanted / intoxicated by this desire (thinking about it, day and night, taking action)

4. Facing your shadows and seeing a disillusionment of your identity and current reality

5. Finally, merging with your desire

To these Tantrikas, desire is a pathway of enlightenment, an obliteration of one’s old self, and becoming one with that desire. And this desire comes from a sacred feminine life force, called Shakti, that resides in your womb, your base.

Whether it’s union with a lover, getting married and settling down, having children, starting your own business, or having tons of wealth and abundance…

In fact, desire is healthy and much-needed medicine in this world. And as women, we have direct connection to desire because of our femininity and sexuality – if we can get over our own misgivings, distractions and conditioning around it.

In my case, I’ve always desired, and longed for, healthy love. It’s been my preoccupation, my obsession. To the point of shifting from my career on Wall Street to starting my own dating coaching practice. I have given up everything for this love and obsession – including spending all my resources on it, forgoing the security of regular income, being mocked by friends and family, facing my own disheartenment, fears and disillusionment along the way.

In a way, though, it’s been a lifelong, juicy spiritual path, that has led me to meeting my soulmate and husband, Krishan, but also about learning about what makes relationships work, and now, what healthy parenting looks like. So I have zero regrets. And I know that when I die, I would have given everything I own to this desire.

There is nothing that I relish more or hold more sacred than honoring this inner desire.

Do let me know! I would love to hear from you.