Some musings I had – in a letter I wrote to Krishan in March 2013:
As I think about my life, I see that my habits don’t bode well for deeper spiritual reflection. Ideally, I would like to find the right mix of enjoyment, work, meditation, yoga, diet, relationships, service, self-reflection & creativity. I want to live my values everyday, and not make excuses for it.
I am trying to disentangle which pieces of it are the cause of this imbalance – is it my job, immediate community, friends, activities, self-perceptions and/or expectations from society? Or is it just my will-power to not be more mindful/conscious in my everyday living?
Am I looking for the right environment to help me become more spiritual, or is spirituality going to help me create the right lifestyle for myself? Is it one and the same? Do we need all the ‘conditions’ in order to be considered successful in our journey of enlightenment, or, as lay-people, do we need to follow a prescribed role in society, and find opportunities for spirituality/consciousness (and is this our true ‘test’ in how we build character/integrity)?
Is a complete and holistic lifestyle necessary to shed layers of misconceptions & negativity, promote good habits, and make time for meditation and self-reflection?
Is this the natural progression:
Right conditions/friends/community -> Right information/education/thinking/living -> Right habits (including diet, service, exercise, etc.) -> Living with true love & joy -> Spiritual development ? Or is there another order to these?
I am trying to clarify my heart to find these answers, and sometimes I wonder if I need to go away for 6 months or so – either in service, or deep into nature/meditation/reflection (or maybe a mix of both).
Or, can I stop ‘running away’, and we take the opportunity to create the right ‘environment’ right now?
Here is what I jotted down as the ‘perfect lifestyle’ for myself:
Right living
- Sustainable living quarters
- Community that is spiritual-minded, and has similar goals
- Regular interaction with animals/nature – garden, sanctuary
Right profession – 3 options
- Ethical job with honest, integrity-filled employees
- Profession in line with one’s purpose
- Job that allows plenty of time to follow spiritual journey
Diet
- Vegan (“Eat to Live” diet, local produce)
- Cooking one’s food in loving manner, cooking for many
Health
- Focus on natural healing
- Yoga as part of daily habit
- Right diet
- Surrounded by holistic healers – energy, sound, naturopathy, etc
Community
- Service
- Dharma sittings / Sangha
- Non-judgmental, loving, open-minded, self-aware community of friends/family
- Focusing on enjoyment/cherishing life
Intellectual stimulation
- Books, thought leadership, insight from community
Family life
- First strengthening a spiritual base and finding one’s purpose
- Finding a life partner to sustain this constant evolution and need for spirituality
- Raising children in natural, spiritual manner
I guess the question is – I am achieving several of these now, but wonder if timing is right to take more action… Also, I wonder if this is a passing phase for me 😉 I hope not – I have been feeling the need for this for a long time!
I know that there are more questions than answers, but I hope that this clarifies my current thinking around ‘conscious’ living 🙂
Good to read your honest and open reflection! It’s nice to get thoughts on paper and read them after a long time. Though I find that things I’ve written even a couple of years ago, still seem to be relevant (especially when it comes to the big, hulking questions about life/purpose). So it strikes me that I may never be able to find complete resolution on many issues, which is disheartening. But it gives me strength to think that making tiny steps each day, trying to enjoy every moment, might be enough to get me through.
Thanks Smita! It’s true – just taking those tiny steps everyday, towards ‘who we want to be’, is all we can really do. And be open to the even more amazing things that life would offer us, if we’re open.