Hot ❤ tip! Declutter for Love

Spring is the perfect time to clean and air out your apartment and get it ready for new love possibilities.

A small story…

A beautiful client of mine, Elise, had a tough time getting her man to commit. He would come over, but then leave in the middle of the night, or she would always have to go and sleep at his place. She couldn’t take it anymore and thought the relationship was going to end.

In our coaching, we worked together to get rid of her limiting beliefs and upgraded her mindset & relationship skills. Then I visited Elise’s apartment, and saw part of the problem – her apartment was unlivable! It was as though she were in ‘transition’, with boxes and a depersonalized feeling. Old books, presents she never used, clothes she didn’t wear…

She told me she was waiting to get hitched to upgrade. She also felt that since it was a NY studio, there was very little she could do with it.

Elise was pretty unhappy in her space, but she was tolerating it, and simply focused on her job and relationship. She never had friends come over, always eating out. The only thing she made for herself and guests was tea 🙂

I told her, “Honey, you’ve got to turn your apartment into a love nest! A place no one ever wants to leave!”

The truth is, everything in your home – including every book, has vibrational quality. The colors, the words, even the intention behind each item, determines the vibration of your home. This lower vibration could not only be draining you – but also sending mixed signals to the universe about who you are, and what you are manifesting.

We looked on Pinterest and found all sorts of cute decorative ideas.

She got rid of her ‘junk’, bought new furniture (mostly accessories) and made her place into a cute Moroccan chic place filled with sensual colors, carpets, candles, and so much more. She started hosting friends and family, and when I went again, I felt at home 🙂

Guess what!! Elise’s man wanted to stay over more nights… and now they are married.

So, how can you start ATTRACTING love through your home (and lifestyle)?

1. Declutter and free your mind, heart & soul: 

It’s spring – time to get rid of the old! I use a rule “If I haven’t used it in 6 months – out it goes (of course, make exceptions for seasonal items)”. If you have items from exes, books you’ve already read, papers, old decorations that don’t give you joy, lifeless kitchen items… donate them. It’s better to have less than more. Marie Kondo (author of “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up”) has a relatively simple principle… if the item no longer gives you joy, throw it out.

Go room by room. Dedicate a few months to this process, if it feels overwhelming. Get rid of furniture items you don’t use – and even items you somewhat like, but feel guilty about throwing out.

Also, donate clothes that are no longer ‘you’. Elise used to wear boring corporate clothes everywhere. I told her, “You’re such a free-spirited, beautiful, fashionable gypsy inside! Embrace her – and start wearing sexy clothes, girl!” We have this idea that we need to look grown up and serious – and sometimes even masculine. Wear clothes that turn you on, that make you feel feminine, free and powerful.

Decluttering can be an emotionally-intense process. There are many items that are sentimental or give you a sense of identity or security. Sometimes looking at old items may bring up memories or emotions. Having a coach to support you is really helpful.

One of my clients had a bed that she shared with her ex (the moment she got rid of it – her chronic back pain went away!), and another divorced client still lived in her marital home. My personal advice is to try to get rid of all ex-related items… even if it’s difficult. But it’s up to you to make these choices.

2. Air your place out: 

Open your windows, and simply enjoy the open space. There’s something magical about ‘nothingness’. You can chant some prayers or mantras, and light some sage. Bring a healer or shaman home to clear the space. Host a ‘goddess circle’ to ritualize this phase of your life. You are beginning anew!

3. Decorate to your heart’s content: 

Life is short. You must start living the life that you want NOW. So, start slowly collecting ideas and inspiration on what inspires you. What fills you with beauty, love and abundance? Create your vision board for what you want in your life, now, and in the future. Be radical and open-minded in your thinking. Let go of any attachments to outcomes.

Then, start finding items that resonate with your soul, and decorate or refurnish. Make your home your love harem – your pride and joy. A place you would want to spend time in, which energizes and rejuvenates you.

Place rose quartz crystals (invites love) and pictures of love, couples, nature. Put up your vision board and a sacred alter.

Make your home delightful to the five senses. Sensuality is key. Buy art work that inspires you. Decorate with colors, candles, books, carpets, a comfortable bed, a kitchen that you enjoy using… make sure you’re turned on by your home.

Buy clothes and make up that help you express your soul’s qualities. Be yourself completely – unashamed and unfettered! I remember my coach telling me, “Sarika, start wearing the bohemian clothes you enjoy!” and I did. I got rid of old business suits and clothes that felt stuffy – and weren’t really me.

4. Invite friends over for dinner and hanging out: 

As modern women, we become accustomed to meeting friends for drinks/dinner or entertainment. Make your home a place of community, sharing and love. Well-wishing friends bring positive energy into your home – and cooking for others creates a virtuous cycle of sharing, gifting and fulfillment. People feel grateful for being invited to someone’s home for food.

I remember, while going through my healing process, I started hosting weekly meditation sits and cooking dinner for 15-20 people. Nothing filled me with more joy. A healer came to my home once, and said she could “hear angels” in the air. Soon after, Krishan started to come over early before the meditation, and stay later to help out… and we began dating 🙂 He didn’t want to leave! He pretty much moved in once we committed to each other.

Inviting people over makes your place feel like home.

So – make your home a haven for yourself, your loved ones, and possibly even romantic encounters 🙂