Wanted to share some things I am thinking about – especially around the Imposter Syndrome.
On an inner plane, a core wound that keeps coming up for me is, “I am not worthy of receiving love” – interesting that I’m a love coach. I feel it in my relationship, my clients, family… I revert to “I am not enough?” & “what’s so special about me? “maybe I’m a sham!”… and “I need to work harder to serve people in the right way to get better results”; or “maybe i could be doing something more worthwhile”, or “if I follow that formula, i will make more money; and I’m playing small”. I get into superiority or inferiority complexes.
On a deep level, though, I think what was bothering me, was thinking that “no one needs me”… and even if they do, I don’t really have what it takes to fulfill their needs. Sometimes, while requesting compensation, I feel embarrassed or self-conscious.
I have been reading this book recently, called “Your Unique Self: Radical Path to Personal Enlightenment”, and it’s been very eye-opening. It’s amazing – and combines (or rather throws out) both Eastern and Western spiritual traditions. This was recommended to me by my Tantra teacher; who studies with Marc Gafni, a mystical rabbi.
In case you’re interested, some interesting insights I gathered so far:
– The next core step in enlightenment for highly conscious people (who understand ‘oneness’), is to step into one’s Uniqueness.
– Our uniqueness is our core essence – our hero’s journey, all of our stories, our talents… it’s our signature that no one else has
– This Unique Self is a perspective, a lens, through which God sees the world. In a way, we are each an embodiment of God… we are God.
– The more we recognize our unique self, and our unique gifts, the more we feel an obligation to share them
– The world desperately needs our unique gifts. If we are not giving our unique gifts with a sense of love and freedom, we are denying God’s experience through our existance
– It is our obligation (which is equivalent to love) to share our unique gifts
– Ego is necessary – but shadow work is what clarifies and heals the ego (especially our core wounds). That way, we can step into our Unique Self, without self-consciousness or fear.
I’m not sure if this is helpful for where you are, but I wanted to share it anyways, as it’s been groundbreaking for me. I want to know that whatever services I’m providing, are in alignment with what I’m here for… and I’m really doing my best. I want to know that I’m enough, and I’m needed. I want to express myself, without shyness, self-consciousness and embarrassment. Without comparison to others’ paths and voices. And I am supported to lead whatever the lifestyle I need, in order to be my Unique Self!
And also, that whatever I’m going through, is a part of my hero’s journey, which continues to form part of my Unique Self and my Unique Gifts. When I have that knowing, then whatever I’m going through now, can feel lighter… and in a way, more joyful, even though there may be suffering.
Anyhow, I offer these out of love and vulnerability.