Non-Violent Communications – Call with Thom Bond. Weeks 49-52

Pervasive Feelings

  • Feelings-listening muscle which needs to be constantly used. When we get to a certain place, we can listen more than we have ever before
  • It’s always there – we stop paying attention after some time

o    Early morning journaling – helps to identify pervasive feelings and needs and bring it into awareness


  • After a time, the NC practice starts to take on a 3rd dimension. After connecting to feelings and needs; we start to connect to requests which can make our life easier. Given that our life is more complex than an immediate request, campaigns are about needs happening in layers and batches – we work with the inter-connectedness of needs – we can make inter-connected requests (campaigns).

o    A way for us to meet our needs in a more complex fashion – and over time

o    E.g. Want to experience more security in my life. Layers: security ->  knowledge -> support – can I get the knowledge to get more security?

o    It’s about listening to the ‘messengers’ in our body – continuously be grounded in our feelings and needs

Speaking your compassion

  • People around us may not have knowledge about feelings / needs (estimate – less than 1% of the world knows about NVC)
  • We have three choices about how to use in everyday:

o    Speak in classical giraffe – doesn’t work that well – e.g. feelings/needs words – makes friends uncomfortable – feels analytical or inauthentic

o    Become more colloquial – street compassion – Speak in terms of feelings/needs without using those specific words – allows us to create more connections

o    Transparency – best option.

  • Be transparent about what I’m doing – speaking in feelings/needs. By acknowledging “let’s do something abnormal” can help create connection and opportunity for deeper exploration. Create a shared understanding about what I’m doing (applying NVC)

Compassion as spiritual practice

  • Connection to the life inside of me – this brings me into connection with all of life, including plants! Allows us to connect to the miracle of life
  • This allows for us to be comfortable with the unknown, having connection with everything – e.g. I don’t need to know Picasso in order to enjoy one of his paintings
  • I don’t need to know where I come from, where I’m going – being comfortable that I don’t know everything – and yet, I know my feelings and needs, and feel connecting to life
  • Spirituality in Action – Serving life – be a part of life, while serving it!

o    Love all of life in everything!


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