There are some that
you may be conscious of; and others you may need to explore more deeply with a coach. I have noticed that as we start taking action for manifesting our ideal relationship, even more fears pop up, and they can sabotage a potentially beautiful relationship.
Here are just a few myths that may cause fear and anxiety in finding ‘the one’, so it’s important to address them first.
1. Your biological clock is ticking, so hurry up! This is a major cause for anxiety for so many women, and sends desperation vibes to men. I remember counting backwards from the time I thought would be wise to have kids. This would put so much pressure on me to perform my magic and stronghold a man into my life. Stop, breathe, and laugh! First, ask yourself – do you really need kids to be happy? You can be happy, right now, exactly as you are. Taking the pressure off yourself allows you to become more Goddess-minded – open, expansive, free-spirited – and when the timing’s right, you WILL meet the right guy, and having kids (even if adopted) will always be an option.
2. All the good ones are taken or aren’t interested. Living in New York City, I remember feeling like all the men were either players, or Peter Pans, or gay. I went on hundreds of dates with seemingly decent straight men, and fretted. Why wasn’t I attracted to these blokes? Where are the smart Renaissance men, the ones who travel, are spiritual and have many interests outside of work? The one who will adore me, and keep a relationship as their number one priority?
The truth is – the right man will appear, out of synchronicity. Maybe through online dating, your work, community service, or your friends. Trust me – he will appear, when you’re truly ready, and working towards your vision!
3. Dating and relationship skills come naturally. This is perhaps the most dangerous misconception. Only in recent years, have we started using our own networks and abilities to meet and attract the right mates. Our parents didn’t have to go through the troubles we did for ‘meeting someone’. In terms of happy and harmonious relationships – we haven’t seen too many great examples, right?
Dating and relationships are learned skills – how do we communicate our feelings, how to make requests, how to hold space for another person, how to listen deeply – how to make another person feel safe, loved and have a sense of belonging. How do we suffer in a way that we don’t destroy a relationship?
The beauty about being single is that you can learn and practice new skills, so that when Mr. Right comes along, you are ready!
4. It’s all about ‘meeting the one’ – and nothing else. Dating other men is a waste of time.
Dating is part of your life journey, and it can be joyful! Think of as having a tasting menu or buffet. Imagine all the flavors that you naturally enjoy or are drawn to; or some allergies you may have.
When you enjoy the dating processs, you can meet new people, learn more about yourself and you get the opportunity to learn relationship skills. Develop more intuition and trust! A way of trying new activities, restaurants – having fun & learning to play with life again. No one is wasting their time by hanging out with others. As you keep growing, you will meet better men over time – ones who meet the belief systems that you hold for yourself. When you have a joyful attitude towards your own life – people will find you attractive and want to spend time with you. And the beauty is – you don’t have to date anyone you don’t want to, or feel in your gut that it’s not right.
5. There must be something wrong with me, which is why I’m single. You are perfect just the way you are. We all have life lessons to learn, which is why we’re still alive. And relationships are the best way to learn about yourself, to grow and evolve. To heal, in many ways. There may be numerous reasons why you’re single – but I would say – that’s a great place to be! A place to become harmonious and whole from within, so that when you do start a family with a man, you will have built a strong foundation for the two of you.
For more tips on creating the right mindset, addressing your fears, and dating like a Goddess, check out this FREE and amazing resource: “Date Like a Goddess! The Anxiety-Free Action Plan for Attracting True Love in 2015″. Get this FREE workbook and video series today!”