The first question I get from every client is – “Sarika, how on earth do I surrender??”
I know – sometimes it’s so hard – given that it seems impossible (or plain naive!) to trust that things will work out on their own.
But, I’ve realized that I find myself surrendering at two specific times:
a) When I’m completely dumbfounded, heartbroken or disillusioned with life – and everything that I thought I knew (or loved!) has failed me.
b) When I’m utterly overwhelmed, and feel like a headless chicken running around, with no clear direction.
In both cases, turning to a higher power helps – and so does opening up to a deeper wisdom within and around us.
Surrender isn’t about giving up – it’s about opening up and becoming vulnerable to life. Opening up takes courage.
On saturday, I went to a Tantra class, and I saw the most beautiful version of surrender.
A woman asked the teacher – “I want to be free to love, but my whole lineage and past has been all about violence towards women – and all I’ve experienced is heartache!! I try so hard for love, and I’m sick of it.” She was bitter and sad, at the same time.
And she did…
And what emerged was sensational. She was taken to a different place as a goddess – one with limitless possibility and access to profound wisdom.
She radiated, as she was caressed and held by the teachers, embracing the loving energy all around her. We all sat around, witnessing this divine transformation.
Love requires surrender.
You can’t love unconditionally – with utter faith and trust – without surrender. Plus, there’s a sweetness, when you can simply ‘let go’, and be taken care of.
I find that this is why a relationship is so vital to my growth. It’s so hard to be vulnerable to my beloved, and learn to let go in the relationship – and yet, the grace I experience is sublime.
In the process of falling in love, I’ve become a better person – more balanced, laid-back, connected and ‘flowing’.
So, how can you practice surrender, starting today?
1. In the morning, practice gratitude and prayer for 10 minutes.Meditate. Get into a prostate position, and release yourself to your higher self, God, or whomever else you believe in. Practice other yoga poses where your heart is over your head (such as shoulder stand).
2. Stop holding in and controlling your pain and suffering in anymore.Let your emotions flow. If you need to grieve – do so! Catharsis is a surrendering process – and is vital, after going through a traumatic experience such as a break up, or losing a job you cared about.
3. Get someone to support you in your journey. Being needy is sexy (see my article here)! If you really need help, remember – there’s tons of people who have dedicated their life to alleviating your pain, and who have figured out a path for you. Take classes and workshops, read books – and seek help from teachers, coaches, healers, therapists! I am always working with 2-3 people who care for me and help me grow.
4. Let go of your expectations. The only things you can control, are your state of being, and your own thoughts, words or actions.
Think of the Serenity Prayer or a powerful affirmation (such as “I surrender to the flow of the Universe”) when you need to.
5. Love yourself first. I practice self-empathy, and always say to myself, “Even if I’m not making progress in my life, I still love, accept and forgive myself”. This works to quieten down my overactive mind, and helps me accept what is.
Remember, when you surrender – you open up to even greater possibilities than you could possibly imagine!
I hope these tips were helpful.